I’ve got a very faint heart that’s easily startled. I personally see it as an organ that just loves to exercise and forces another to release a substance called adrenaline that causes the rest of me to act outside my control.
A loved one missing a second phone call can cause my mind to go berserk. Even the merest sneaking up behind me can cause me to lash out like a rabid dog.
The lists of things that scare me are probably endless but I have a few phobias that are extreme and they go like this:
- Thunder (astrophobia) this is probably the worst of them and this is how it often plays out. I wake up frightened from sleep. I toss and turn. I start thinking the end of the world has come and wait for the trumpet to go off. I pray. I cry. I curl into a ball begging for it to stop. Not able to take anymore, I leap out of bed and run to the room of the person closest (usually one of my other siblings) ask if I could sleep with them and without waiting for an answer, I jump into bed with them looming very close or holding on to them tightly till the thunder stops then I go back to sleep reviewing the memories later on in the day.
- Dog (cynophobia) this is common knowledge to those who know me. I’ve just had one too many bad experiences with them since I was little.
- Fear of getting lost there’s no word for this but its self-explanatory. An irrational fear of mine where if i was to go or enter a new place i MUST have a guide or some map or directions that will ensure my way around the place. An easy way to kill me is to leave me in the middle of the desert; doesn’t matter if I were left with a lifelong worth of sustenance; I will die. At least in my head I will.
- Fear of divorce this is something no one wishes for but I think about it a lot and each time I panic at the thought. I feel like life can’t continue after such which I know in reality isn’t the case, but in my head it’s a whole other story. Family unit breaking by the splitting of the parents, whether i’m the child or wife it’s a thought that scares the hell out of me. Death I can still live with as hard and painful but because inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (to Allah we belong and to him we shall return) I have to accept death cause theres no escaping it. Divorce on the other hand is a kind of loss that’s there for your eyes to see and serves as a reminder of something good that went really wrong. I don’t think I’m strong enough to bear or handle such a thing.
That’s all of them really. What are your fears and do we share similar ones?
See you in my next post ^.^