I’ve got a very faint heart that’s easily startled. I personally see it as an organ that just loves to exercise and forces another to release a substance called adrenaline that causes the rest of me to act outside my control.

A loved one missing a second phone call can cause my mind to go berserk. Even the merest sneaking up behind me can cause me to lash out like a rabid dog.

The lists of things that scare me are probably endless but I have a few phobias that are extreme and they go like this:

1. Thunder (astrophobia) this is probably the worst of them and this is how it often plays out. I wake up frightened from sleep. I toss and turn. I start thinking the end of the world has come and wait for the trumpet to go off. I pray. I cry. I curl into a ball begging for it to stop. Not able to take anymore, I leap out of bed and run to the room of the person closest (usually one of my other siblings) ask if I could sleep with them and without waiting for an answer, I jump into bed with them looming very close or holding on to them tightly till the thunder stops then I go back to sleep reviewing the memories later on in the day.
2. Dog (cynophobia) this is common knowledge to those who know me. I’ve just had one too many bad experiences with them since I was little.
3. Fear of getting lost there’s no word for this but its self-explanatory. An irrational fear of mine where if i was to go or enter a new place i MUST have a guide or some map or directions that will ensure my way around the place. An easy way to kill me is to leave me in the middle of the desert; doesn’t matter if I were left with a lifelong worth of sustenance; I will die. At least in my head I will.
4. Fear of divorce this is something no one wishes for but I think about it a lot and each time I panic at the thought. I feel like life can’t continue after such which I know in reality isn’t the case, but in my head it’s a whole other story. Family unit breaking by the splitting of the parents, whether i’m the child or wife it’s a thought that scares the hell out of me. Death I can still live with as hard and painful but because inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (to Allah we belong and to him we shall return) I have to accept death cause theres no escaping it. Divorce on the other hand is a kind of loss that’s there for your eyes to see and serves as a reminder of something good that went really wrong. I don’t think I’m strong enough to bear or handle such a thing.

That’s all of them really. What are your fears and do we share similar ones?

See you in my next post ^.^