Reality Check 

If you follow my blog weekly, you would notice I posted nothing last week and that was because I was unwell and unable to prepare something but alhamdulilah I’m in good shape and I shall make up for the missing post sometime this week In Sha Allah.

A friend of mine lost his mum to cancer some days back. He’s the eldest child and one of the strongest Individuals I’m proud to know. I pray Allah swt forgives and showers his infinite mercy on his mother as well as grant his family the patience and strength to forbear what they’re going through. Please help me say Ameen.

Death is a topic we all try to push away from our minds and forget yet it’s the only thing in our lives that’s certain. We focus and look forward to the uncertain things in life and ignore the certain ones, and for that reason I can’t help but question man’s sanity.

He’s the second friend I know that has lost his mum this year. It’s scary. That same week my Aunts’s employee lost his brother to cancer (leukaemia). I don’t know the deceased personally  or his name but I had the chance to meet his brother a few days before he passed away and I remember the look on his face when my aunt and he were discussing chemo; it was full of hope for his dear brother.

Nobody knew what was to become of him in a few days, a reflection that causes the hairs on my body to stand up. Even if we knew, will it take away or reduce that feeling? I don’t think the knowledge of when is what scares us. It’s the feeling/that loss/thought of ceasing to exist in body form and being alone for a while is what we are all trying to escape. The unknown is scary.

I wonder if deep down inside of him he’s tried to prepare for the worst; chances are slim with leukaemia but its human nature to not give up or loose hope in the person you love no matter the situation. Hope, although it’s not always met there’s some level of comfort it gives and for that reason we never cast it away. Imagine a world without possibilities.

Every day you hear someone dies but it doesn’t really shake you until it’s close to home or literally in your home.
The reality of death hit me really deep for the first time when I attended Jumaat prayer at the mosque one Friday earlier on this year. Soon after completing the congregational prayer the Imam asked for us to please remain back and perform the janazah (funeral) prayer for a young sister that passed away that morning. I felt the goosebumps on my body and my heart skipped a few beats; it was going to be my first janazah prayer and I didn’t know how to perform it. I simply followed the Imam through the speaker and copied what the rest of the women where doing in the room. All my mind in prayer I kept thinking, this girl is soon going to be trialled in the grave by the Angels and the three questions quickly manifested in my mind. Who is your Lord? What is your religion? Who is your prophet?

After we completed the prayer the woman beside me out of nowhere bursted out crying. I knew at that moment the woman knew or was related to the sister that passed away. Every one of us in the room gathered around her and tried to console her. An asian woman asked how she was related to the deceased and she replied it was her only daughter and she was 17 years old. Upon hearing that, my knees gave away and I literally had to lean on the wall for support. The next few seconds that passed I struggled to breathe; the girl was my age. It was a close reality check.

My whole life flashed before my eyes in that moment like a movie that was on fast forward. Though I was 17 then, it seemed like all the things I had done in my life right up to that afternoon seemed like something that could be stretched out in just 10 mins.

I started to wonder…what was she like? Did she practice her religion well? The girl was Nigerian but she lived here in the UK, has the western life rubbed her off her religion? My goodness she has seen what the angel of death looks like. How was her soul taken? I hope she prayed, oh I hope she did and read her Quran and was good to people.

17 years..so that’s the amount of years Allah gave her…6209 days. Though she’s young she’s every bit accountable for all she’s done from the moment she started her menses. I was scared for her and I was even more frightened for myself.

Right then I was aware of something Allah gave me that he didn’t give her; more time. I don’t know how much more time, but she left before I did. I was blessed to see a little bit more of this world, blessed to seek forgiveness once more, blessed to be able to humble myself and make sajdah (prostrate) and feel Allah’s sakina (tranquility) in prayer, blessed to change whatever was wrong then and make it right.

Tears swelled my eyes, I valued my life more than anything at that moment; how unprepared I was for death. You may sincerely want goodness and change for yourself but every time you tell yourself tomorrow you will try then or tonight, when the next hour isn’t even guaranteed. A wake up call it was.

I’ve been guided with the truth and the right religion but how very unsatisfactory it’s been implemented into my life. You get no second chance when it comes to living your life; you get only one chance to live it right.

Each time I say this but I just thank God for Islam and how it makes us aware of our return and meeting with Him. 5 times a day we are bound to remember the reality of what this world truly is and reaffirm our faith and seek forgiveness and make things right. We stand in prayer; a simulation of what will happen when we are called to stand before our Rabb on the day of judgement.

It’s clear that life isn’t all rosy and things will happen in your life that will hurt you, that will frighten you, a times you will feel like there’s no way forward but as this life isn’t permanent know that the thing you are experiencing isn’t also.

If you currently feel this way then remember when Allah said in Suratul Baqarah (2:155) “and We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but glad tidings to the patient.”

Whatever the situation there truly is light at the end of the tunnel, be patient and know Allah’s got you.

That being said life is a gift, we all have a limited time in this world so just try to be happy in whatever situation you find yourself in and do good to yourself and the people around you. Smile more. Appreciate the beauty of the moon. Allow the wind to push you around, don’t stress the little things. Life truly is short so spend it with the people that matter and use your time wisely. I can’t stress the importance of time enough.

Allah never disappoints the people who believe and place their trust in Him but when it comes to life and death, it’s completely outside your court. You’ve got no say for yourself talk less of someone else. May Allah let us live and accomplish our true purpose in this life Ameen.

See you in my next post ^.^